Book 3: Chapter 1 Part 1: Reading Romance Novels as References

Hi everyone! I’m back and here comes your long awaited chapter! Wohooo~~ yeaaahhh!! *make some noises* *have a sugar high, don’t mind me* Happy reading guys 🙂

“Really, I don’t want to be apart from you like this…”

I held both of Captain Jullius’ hands tightly. I underestimated how efficient adjutant Sieg put the plan into action and got it done so fast in his own way. I didn’t know we’re going to be parted from each other so soon.

“It can’t be help. And I’m greatly indebted to you throughout all this time.”

As I sounded regretful, Captain Jullius sullenly nodded his head.

“I wish Lord Roel wouldn’t go but… there’s nothing we can do.”

“Yes. And Captain, please just call me Roel.”

“… Huh?”

“As I’ve told you before, I’m not a holy knight anymore. Besides, I told you that you could call me by my name after we got back from the Holy Church. Needless to say, Roel is my name but, it’s fine to just leave out the honorific at the back.”

(T/N: fyi in Korean, all the honorifics are attached after one’s name. Here MC is called 로엘 경 (romanization: Roel gyeong) which is translated to Lord Roel in English)

As I said so, the pale grey eyes were on the verge of tears and became even more wet. No, don’t cry. There’s nothing to cry about.

“…. Roel.”

“Yes, Captain Jullius.”

“Then, I also–“

After hesitating about what he wanted to say, in the end he just gave up on the thought and kept his mouth shut. You could say whatever you want to say though.

“If you want anything, just say it. It’s okay. I told you I’d help you with anything.”

As long as it’s within my capabilities. Otherwise, I could still get some help from those around me. Thus when I urged him to say it at once, Captain Jullius finally said the words he couldn’t bring up to say before.

“I wish you would call me just by my name too….”

“Why can’t you just tell me that?! Is it because you think that I wouldn’t comply with such a request?”

“…..”

Instead of answering, Captain Jullius only looked at my face, trying to be perceptive and gauge my mood. I like him, but this is kind of frustating. How should I put it, it made me felt like I kept Captain Jullius by my side against his own will and bullied him. I thought I’ve treated him well, but I wonder whether if he didn’t feel that way. As I looked at the discouraged puppy look of his, I heaved a sigh.

“Seriously, I’m somewhat worried to leave you behind like this. Well, of course you’ve been doing well until now without me, but still just saying though.”

“Then please take me with you.”

Ortzen, who was indifferently staring at both of us in silence, suddenly interrupted.

“Don’t mingle in someone else’s office while holding each other hands as if you two are the only one here.”

“… my bedroom is still in the middle of being cleared up to pack my luggage. Besides, adjutant Sieg told me that I shouldn’t be alone in the same room with Captain when there’s only the two of us.”

“Ah, fine. Anyway, if you’re concerned about him, you can take him away with you. He can commute back and forth.”

“That may be so, but….”

I tilted my head. It sounded very interesting to bring Captain Jullius back home with me as the new Count Epheria.

“Will adjutant Sieg allow it?”

“Sir Siegfred may be the one who prepared the house, but Lord Roel is the master, right? Since Captain doesn’t own any private residence and is engaged with you, it shouldn’t be a problem if you give him a separate building to live in. Though it’s such a disgrace to let a man and a woman to live together within the same residence, but neither of you care about things like that. On the contrary, it’ll be beneficial to improve Lord Roel’s image somehow so Sir Siegfred won’t strongly opposed to the idea.”

Is that so? It’s good if it’s precisely so. I turned to look at Captain Jullius and asked him again.

“Captain– no, Jullius, what do you think? Do you want to live together with me?”

It’s a bit awkward once I actually called him by his name. It looked like it’s also the same for Captain.

“As long as Roel is fine with me… then I’m good.”

…. what’s with this awkward embarrassing situation. I cleared my throat once and looked back at Ortzen.

“Then I’ll go and ask. If he doesn’t allowed it, well, I’ll just insist on being stubborn and have it my way.”

“I’ll come with you and give you some help. Captain, you should ask Clauen to help you pack your luggage.”

“Okay.”

Captain Jullius left first then I, together with Ortzen, headed to my bedroom where adjutant Sieg could be found at. Actually it’s not because I didn’t want to help packing my things up, but I escape from there in case I was about to listen to his nagging on how I became a freeloader at Special Task Squad’s headquarters.

“I think Captain is too timid.”

As we walked along the corridor, I brought up the subject I had been thinking of from some time ago.

“It’s a bit more than that, no, I think you should be much more active in approaching him and take the lead. Relatively speaking, I feel like I’ve meddled in too much.”

Ortzen glanced at me and opened his mouth.

“Honestly, it seems to be true that Miss Epheria used to live a carefree life before.”

He must have heard about it from my adjutant.

“…no, but still, this and that matter is way too different.”

“Because Miss and Captain have different circumstances. You’ve never been hated by others, haven’t you?”

“There are a lot of people who hate me though.”

There’re some elders who regarded me as an eyesore, and also in high society, unlike the women who would only gossiping, lots of jerks came to pick a fight and caused some disputes.

“Let me correct it, I bet Miss must have never been hated by someone you like before.”

“Uhm… I think there’s no such thing.”

“That’s the difference. As long as Miss put your mind to it, you could easily make a good impression on others. If you took a fancy to someone, you used to easily get close to them without hesitation, didn’t you? I mean, without worrying about being turned down.”

“Well, that’s… yeah, it was like that.”

There’s no way I could have liked those jerks who tried to mess with me in the first place, but apart from them… others were friendly to me in general.

“A capable beauty showed up and candidly approached others in a friendly manner but only few people would refuse. However Captain Jullius is completely the opposite. When he likes someone, let alone trying to approach the person he likes, he’s even more worried that he might be hated. His first impression is already intimidating but, if others get to know about the inside story, ordinary people will shun him even more. That’s why he has no choice but to be timid. He doesn’t know when he’s going to be thrown away so it can’t be help that he’s very careful of his action and turns defensive even more. The more he likes the other person, the more timid he becomes.”

“…. I won’t do that.”

“Even if you say so, people could have a change of heart any time.”

“I think I’ve never once gotten tired of someone I was fond of yet.”

Just as I said so, suddenly I recalled something that adjutant Sieg has told me before. I didn’t know what mistake Palma, my former holy knight comrade, had committed in the past, but adjutant Sieg took advantage of Cain to deal with him discreetly so as not to make me hated him (Palma) and felt betrayed. It’s not that I was lucky enough not to experience hating someone I used to be fond of before, but maybe because it’s intentionally made so that there wouldn’t be any in the first place. If that’s the case, to be honest, it’s a little– kind of unpleasant truth.

“Doesn’t it mean that Captain Jullius doesn’t trust me much after all? Because he only treats adjutant Ortzen and Clauen comfortably.”

Ortzen smiled as I thoughtlessly pouted.

“Rather, it’s right to say that Captain likes Miss Epheria much more than me or Clauen.”

“… even much more than you both?”

“Yes. Although it’s true that Captain is defensive and passive in interpersonal relationship, but on the contrary he’s completely the opposite usually. In the first place, he doesn’t have confidence in himself and wouldn’t expect someone to like him.”

That sounded a bit sad. Ortzen slightly sighed every now and then as he continued to talk.

“Because he’s afraid that he might be hated, he treated others coldly and curtly. Though there’re times when it’s better to just completely ignore a certain someone from the start, like the vice-captain for example.”

“Mhm, then again, from the moment I met him for the first time, he’s indeed a bit cold. But he loosened up pretty quickly though? He treated me kindly.”

“That’s because Miss is an oddball. For the first time, Captain encountered a noble lady who treated him comfortably. And on top of that you even approached him in a casual and friendly manner. It would have been even more strange if he didn’t easily fall for you.”

“Is that so?”

Captain Jullius, you’re too easy as a man. I guess I should pay more attention to him.

“Yes. Because of this, he’s being careful and wish to leave more favorable impression on you to the extent of not knowing what to do so as not to be hated by Miss Epheria.”

“So, to put it simply, are you saying that he becomes timid only in front of someone he likes very much?”

“Yes, it’s as such. Even worse, Captain’s interpersonal relationship is practically limited as good as next to nothing, so he really lacks experience. He doesn’t know for certain on how he should behave in order to get on Miss’ good side.”

I don’t know what to do anymore. Uhm, he’s kind of cute. Ahem.

“But still, I don’t like it when he keeps shrink away like that. Is there any way to fix him?”

“Even if he makes a little mistake, you have to convince him that you won’t hate him and that you’ll still like him all the same. Just think of it as if you’re trying to tame a wild animal by showering it with lots of affections, and not using any violence.”

“A wild animal, is it?”

Should I give him something to eat? But when it comes to food, I can’t beat neither Chef Ira nor Chef Sana. Maybe I should look for a wild horse trainer to get some advice.



When I entered the bedroom, Sofia, who was holding a fairly big bag in her hand, welcomed me.

“Miss, all that’s left to do is to leave now.”

Maybe because there’s not much luggage, so she’s finished packing up my things pretty quickly.

“Where’s adjutant Sieg?”

“Sir Siegfred went down to prepare the carriage. By the way…”

Sofia had an obscure look on her face then she whispered to me.

“Is he really going to be a butler for Count Epheria’s household?”

“He did said he’s going to be a butler, but I’m still not sure about it.”

But I hope he wouldn’t. After I said so, Sofia’s face turned even more strange. She had a somewhat anxious and somewhat excited look on her face.

“Umm, actually it’s said that Sir Siegfred is Lady Kidea’s hidden older brother… or so I heard. Then, he is a prince, isn’t he…?”

“Uh, he’s a prince. But still, he doesn’t have the right to inherit the title, and as the Duke’s eldest son, I think he has nowhere to go.”

“But no matter what, he’s still a prince you know! Oh my gosh….”

Sofia’s cheeks were flushed. Hey, even though he’s a prince, he has a poor character. Fairy tales and reality are different.

“Oh my gosh, oh my gosh… to have the prince as a butler…. B, by any chance, does Sir Siegfred have feelings for you, Miss…?”

“No, he’s not.”

“But I completely can’t think of any other reason on why such a gentleman wants to be a mere butler.”

“But it’s not like that.”

To be honest, if adjutant Sieg had romantic feelings for me, that feeling would have gone by now instead. Because any men who had romantic feelings for my old self, honestly they were all gays, you know. Speaking of which, even if I’m a woman, how I looked like in others’ eyes and how I acted, was that of a man.

After a series of denials, Sofia dejectedly lowered her head.

“… still, you never know.”